Bumpy Roads

Dirt. Mud. Potholes. Rocks. Crevices. There's no way around them, you will hit a bump. Every once in a while.

We’ve all driven down one.  They aren’t fun.  But they are life.

My road for the last week has been just that.  Bumpier than bumpy.  It’s rainy season here so every pothole is filled with dirty water and every inch of road is filled with a pothole.

It doesn’t matter the vehicle – car, taxi, van, jeep, or bike. You’re bound to hit a bump or two. Such is life - we all hit a bump or two every now and again. 

The past few days my bike has seen more near misses and direct hits than it would have liked to.  I’ve had a chain fall off. I’ve had me fall off.  I’ve had pants covered in dirt and water. It’s just life.

For every bumpy road there’s a straight road, and for every direct hit on the bumpy road, there’s a near miss.

You can’t let the bumpy road get the best of you.  Aim for the misses. Or aim for the puddles. Either way – life is just that. A road. One that must be traveled. 

And sometimes the bumpier ones are more fun.

Hola from one of the bumpiest roads in the world - in Palm Beach Estates, Guanacaste, Costa Rica

"Stay Strong & Surf"

“Stay Strong and Surf” A solid piece of advice I received today from a friend. 

Which got me to thinking…what exactly is “strength” or “being strong”?   And, how do I do that…?

Strength.  Webster has many definitions, all of which seem to be physical in nature by having the words “resist” and “force” in them.  Which is true.  But there’s so much more to this saying…

No crying.

Or having a good cry. And picking yourself up after.

Doing what is right, when it’s not what is easiest.

Truly believing in yourself.

Being positive.

Saying no.

Finding the courage to continue on when things aren’t going your way.

Physically working to get through the day to financially provide for yourself and possibly others.

Never giving up.

The list goes on and on. There is a strength in all of us. And most likely it means something different for each of us, on any given day, or at any given time in our lives. But it's always there. Ready to fight when it's needed.

I think having and realizing this strength is important, but what you do to support and nurture that strength, maybe even more.

Which brings me to my question of “how do I do this…?”…well, I think I’ll go surf.

I know, I know I haven’t written in the last year, and trust me I’ve had quite some adventures – but when it comes down to it I think my greatest and most worthy adventures are those that take place solo (never alone). 

Hola from Playa Grande, Costa Rica!

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes…yet again.

Exactly one year ago today I left a home and a piece of me.

Somehow…12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours have already passed.

“Time moves in one direction, memory in another.” ~ William Gibson

Most days I yearn for my calmer soul, less judgmental heart, and sunny (and somewhat) carefree days. 

But just like time; I march on. 

And it’s time. 

Time to go.

Next month brings my next big adventure, though shorter and closer than the last, it promises to be every bit as sweaty.

While last Thanksgiving was spent with views of the Taj Mahal; this one will most likely be spent scooping poop.

In mid-November a girlfriend and I are headed to Guatemala for a week of working and living on an organic farm; located at the base of a volcano, we have been promised hard work with a great view. 

Following our farmstay, we then head for a few days of relaxation at Earthlodge, where we’ll stay in the famous treehouse.

Bring it on!  I mean, shouldn't farmwork be an innate skill for a Midwestern girl?  We shall see...

“Life is either a great adventure, or nothing.” ~Helen Keller

Lovefest

      In a semi-whiney voice: “I’m surprised you haven’t written any posts about your dad!” 

           - Says the mother of my father, and one of my most favorite people in the whole entire universe – my grandma!   

      

      Biased a little…yes.

So here you go grandma:  you are an 84 (or maybe 85, I lose track) year old version of me!  More than once a week I call and come to find out we are doing the same thing, but you have popcorn accompanying your wine. 

We read books more frequent and faster than most. 

We say what’s on our mind before thinking of others’ feelings (or possibly not caring). 

We love life (even the most boringest of days) like it’s our job, and we can talk about absolutely nothing for hours while entertaining ourselves more than anyone else can. 

Yes.  I love you grandma more than most people in the world (you know this because we’ve talked about most); you’re so much more than my drinking buddy, confidante, girlfriend, and “sweet” (ha) old grandma – you’re my dad’s mom!

You’re too right my dad is something.  No, he’s not the indestructible, all-knowing, super human I once thought he was – he’s far better. 

He’s sensitive, sarcastic, and so special (sometimes yes, in that way).  He quietly observes, and only adds to the conversation when he really has something to say (SO opposite of us).  He goes out of his way and above and beyond the call of duty for those he really and truly cares about - which are few and far between (much like us), but if you’re lucky enough to be on the receiving end, you really feel as if you’re the only person that matters right then in the world.

He knows how to really enjoy life – whether that’s fishing alone, or eating and drinking with friends and family. 

He’s more loyal than any of the best dogs. 

He’s funny. So funny.  I wish more people saw this side of him – but again it’s reserved for those closest.  He’s one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met.  And best of all, when he’s happy (and ornery) that sparkle you love so much in his eyes grandma - never leaves.

I could go on forever – modest, ethical, friendly (well - with babies and dogs), honest (when not golfing), a guy’s guy, smart, permanently tan, etc.  But best of all he’s all mine (or at least that’s how I feel) because he:

• Will always drop everything and rearrange his life to pack and move me (to-date: at least 6 times).
• Takes in my dogs and cats, all while complaining, but really loving them as his own (he now delivers and picks-up too!).
• Spent every one of his birthdays for a good 10 years in the cold (which he hates) and in costume (which he really hates).  Happy Halloween. Um I mean birthday dad.
• Has never said no, no matter the time of day to: picking me up, fixing something, or taking me somewhere (obviously I’ve lived a post childhood life of unreliable cars and apartments).
• Growing up he did everything in the world to provide us with all the silly and “oh so important” teenage “needs”.  Even though I now know we weren’t – I always felt like millionaires.
• Paid for four years of college for me.  To his ultimate rival.
• Has only yelled at me twice. And both times I really deserved it.  Really.
• Makes the best chipped beef on toast in the world.
• Oh, and did I mention he has touched and lifted every item I own.  Six times.
• Finally, I know that if I ever need anything (absolutely anything) I know he’ll do it without any questions asked (sounds very mafia-like, but oh so true). 

Yup. You Smith’s are really something.  I always wished I was from those big families with all the crazies – but you know what I don’t need it. I have drama-free wonderful role models in my life (that are still a bit crazy). 

I’m so lucky. I can’t say it enough. I know. I have a great life. All because I had the best people in the world raising me.  I can never pay any of you back. And let’s be honest, I never will ;)  So let’s just chalk this one up to “paying it forward”.  I love you all. 

And there you have it grandma – anyone else you need me to include in this lovefest?! 

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.   

~Author Unknown

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  

~Clarence Budington Kelland

It's Complicated

Reallyyyyy…it’s almost August…which means the summer, my favorite season in the whole wide world, is nearly over!  Noooooo! It can’t be! 

What have I done (besides not write on this thing)?  I guess thinking it over...between pool parties, Nationals Games (yes I’m a semi-convert; hey they have WAY better food and bars at the stadium AND I can still wear all my red outfits), my birthday, the 4^th of July, book club, one epic boozy brunch at La Boum, Bocce Ball league (don’t judge), Flag Football games (again…no judging), and a few current, terrible weeks without AC, all added to my trips to the Outer Banks, Atlanta, and one long train ride (36 hours to be exact) to New Orleans…then, I suppose throw in a little work, and it’s true; it is almost August. 

Sad times. 

At least I still have a few more weeks - or months - if this sauna of a season keeps up!

“Summer is kind of like the ultimate one-night stand: hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.”

Ha.  Which is the perfect transition to this…Why does dating as a grown-up (yes contrary to popular belief I am one) have to be so dang hard?! 

It’s complicated.

Trust me I’m not complaining, as I don’t really “try” or do I actively “look” for anyone (obviously I don’t have the time to fit it into my schedule), but geez finding boys used to be so much simpler! …Or maybe that’s just it; in my younger days, I didn’t use to have any standards and dated just that “boys”…which obviously worked out really well for me!

Like I said, I don’t generally give dating a second thought, but with the passing of what would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary one month ago, and the majority of my friends in relationships and/or having babies – I’ll admit I’ve thought about it a bit more lately.  

Luckily I don’t “long” for a relationship…and I know this because the second after I look longingly at a cute couple on the street my brain immediately says, “Ugh who wants that!  Relationships are so much work and most of the time not even worth it! And they probably aren’t even REALLY happy…”  Howeverrrrr I wouldn’t mind a guy actually asking me out!  Dating – that I can do!  But seriously, finding someone I actually want to date is damn near like finding the holy grail, or the fountain of youth, or whatever else is pretty much non-existent!  

I guess then I should consider myself lucky…as I do like my “me” time.  I like not shaving when I don’t feel like it.  I like being untidy.  I like eating entire bags of cheddar cheese popcorn in one sitting (while in my underwear).  I ALSO like wearing granny panties. I could go on with this list forever. But the gist of it is: I like not sharing everything from my food to my feelings (yes I’ve reverted to a 3 year old and am somewhat okay with it)!

Yup.  It’s complicated.

Funny story - a few weeks ago a single girlfriend and I were chatting and she said something about how she was going to start hanging around doctor offices and courtrooms…and I whole-heartedly agreed.  Only come to find out she was looking for the actual doctors and lawyers…where I was more thinking about finding all the old, dying, rich men and divorcees! 

Either way, doctors or dying men, I think I’ve come to a point in my life where I am happy (and set in my ways obviously) that I no longer feel the need entertain the thought of dating whomever shows up in my life – I’m gonna be picky!  I mean - I really do not have the time for these short, self-involved, stuck-up DC man-children! 

I will tell you what’s not complicated: Manchild v. Mason…hands-down I’ll always pick the dog (and I'm talking about the literal dog, Mason)! 

And if all else fails…the good news is I do like cats! ;)

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.
~ Sex and the City

No, I don't have a boyfriend. No, I don't need a boyfriend. I am enough. And I am complete just the way I am. I choose to be single, just like I choose to not listen to people who make marriage seem like the only possible pinnacle a life can have.
~ Lauren Rohrer

Being single entitles you to not ask someone's opinion before you do something to mess up your own room, your credit report or even your life.
~ Sayali Patil

It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.
~ George Washington

Everyone Has One

We all have one.  Every single one of us.  Mine happens to be pretty special.

Sometimes we forget.  Forget that there is a tie that binds us all.  When abroad I am fascinated by drying laundry.  I take pictures of it slung over balconies, pinned to lines between homes, spread out on the hot dirty ground, and even thrown over bushes in parks.  But that's not what I'm talking about (though it is true - rich or poor we all have laundry - dirty and clean).

What I am talking about I was reminded of a few weeks back when I found myself at a bar on a Sunday afternoon (surprise surprise) speaking candidly with two homeless men.

We all have mothers.

While staring wide-eyed and hungry for more stories about life on the streets of DC one of the men's mothers called (on a phone nicer than mine might I add) and we proceeded to speak to her on speaker phone.  Wow.  Sometimes I guess I forget.  Even grown homeless men have mothers.  Mothers who still ask about the kind of trouble they're getting into (probably literally in his case), and what they've been up to.  Yes, we all have them, but many people are not as lucky to have such a good one as I do.

Today I received my first card in the mail (yes the actual physical mailbox kind) from my mother, well not my first card ever from my mom (god no - she was the one who never failed to send the holiday care packages in college, the one who paid more in shipping costs to send me tampons in Thailand than the 80 tampons were worth - so no.  This is not a first in that sense).  This is the first one from our new "project" aka Mother's Day gift 2012 (which I'm guessing won't actually be appreciated for years to come).  The project is a series of cards we complete and mail to the other to complete the same questions - then ultimately they end up in a pre-made scrapbook of sorts.

Mom and I spend so many hours on email, the phone, and in person discussing god knows what, but I couldn't begin to tell you who my mom's mentor is, her childhood dreams, or even where she was born (seriously Mom I thought you were born in Boonville until I got this card and it said Racine)!  We know so much about each other (well her more about me than me about her due to this blog and the fact that she raised me), but so little about certain important parts of her life before me (yeah I know can't be that important if I wasn't around...but still).

As my birthday approaches (according to mom it's my 30th - so let's just go with that), I'm still in awe that when she was my age she had an 8 year old - me!  For starters I can't even fathom myself with a child (unless it's the kind that can eat when and whatever I choose, and loves to hang out all day under the bed unsupervised - wait that's Mason) - yeah no, I can't imagine taking care of another small human at my age - so yes I want to know how my mom did it.  And did it well.  Let's just say that I turned out pretty dang normal (not to toot my own horn, but I am comparing myself to these homeless men).  So I am normal!  My mom is awesome.

Like most moms, she did the standard "mom" stuff, like always putting herself last, that apparently comes with giving birth.  Tenneva, Sophia and Elizabeth do a pretty good job of summing that bit of my mom up:

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~Tenneva Jordan

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

What these quotes don't say are the above standard things about my mom that I admire, for example how she:

• Worked (and still works) very hard to make her dream happen;
• Asks and actually appreciates my advice;
• Is creative (more than she knows and realizes);
• Is excited for all my choices (good or bad - even if she's worried - she still is the ultimate Jenna fan);
• Tells me how it is (yes I know my hair looks terrible, but thanks for being so honest);
• Makes time for the little things in life, that mean millions to me (she recently redid a hamper for my apartment in an "Indian" theme - love!)
• Takes in my pets, belongings, car, etc. every time I decide it is time to pick and go;
• Has dealt with her own sickness and her parents' deaths with more strength than I thought was humanly possible;
• Is a leader and go-getter; but,
• Most importantly how she has helped shape who I am today - a strong, independent, open-minded, and compassionate human being who easily sees the beauty in all.

Thank you mom.

And thank you for NOT teaching me how to drive, or how to be on time, or even how to cook (too many childhood bread/fire memories) ;)

I look forward to many more cards and conversations about you and your life before and after me.

Here are a few more fitting quotes that I just couldn't let go to waste (and I know everyone will appreciate and relate because...Everyone Has One):

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever." ~Unknown

"A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go." ~Unknown

"Mom, when thoughts of your are in our hearts, we are never far from home." ~Unknown

"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I love you.  And all that you are beyond just being a mother.

Some Gypsy Love from Syeira & Pal

You may now call me “Syeira” and Mason will go by “Pal”.  

We have our official gypsy names!  (Or so says the “gypsy name generator” that I found on that www…) This is so exciting, as I was one of those kids that always wanted, but never had, a nickname – but now I have finally found one!  No. I have no idea how mine is pronounced…but still :) 

Having now been gainfully employed and living in the nation’s capital for 98 days, I still often find myself feeling a bit gypsy-like in spirit (and now in name) compared to others. 

“You walk to work?! In the rain?!”… “You still don’t have a TV? What in the world do you do?”…”Your phone doesn’t get internet?  How do you get around?”  

Side note: I’m the company “Tweeter” (however, don’t ask me what a # or @ means - ugh) BUT I do find many random facts per day; this one is just crazy slash dumb slash unbelievable: 1/3 of all high school students have an iPhone.  What?!  Insanity.  I know I didn’t have my own phone (or even own line) in high school, let alone anything that cost more $200 for that matter (I have no clue how much an iPhone is actually…)!  

Anyway. Yes!  I STILL get it.  I realize I don’t have a lot of material things.  But I also don’t need a lot.  And guess what, even after now being back in the States for five months I’ve found myself able to stick to such principles (even if sometimes I’m just clinging…) and still be happy.

 

Miriam Beard was so right in saying: Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.

After moving back I think what I first thought of as “culture shock” is now just my new deep and permanent idea of living.  I find myself barely ever “needing” anything (and if I do, it best be on sale)!  Pal, however, needs to get with the program; he always seems to need a new bag of dog food (his coat is however REAL shiny from all the eggs he eats until I realize this is really a “need”). 

Of course there are the moments I catch myself online shopping for nothing of necessity (but end up dumping the entire cart before hitting the checkout button), and yes there are moments when I’m so lazy that walking four blocks to work seems insurmountable and all I want in my life is a taxi, and yesss there are definitely moments that I find myself complaining, thinking negatively, or judging someone or something all for no good reason at all, but to just do it and jump on the bandwagon.  But I can say that at least I am now aware of when I am being silly or wasteful or negative or whatever. 

Another truth: Once you’ve traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers.  The mind can never break off from the journey. – Pat Conroy

Love. 

Everyday I’m grateful for my experiences.  Excited for the future.  But most of all content in my present.

I’ll leave you with a few other of my random facts found on Twitter:

• Typing two spaces after a period (.) is incorrect.

• Americans are expected to buy 14 million cars this year (up 35% from 2009)

• April 25^th was National Malaria Day – in fact there is a crazy holiday for EVERY DAY!

• Today actually has five: International Tuba Day (who cares), National Bird Day (ugh. gross), National Candied Orange Peel Day (what is this even?), Renewal Day (huh?), and Space Day (ok I’ll give you that one) 

• If the number of Facebook users was a country, they’d be the third largest in the world.

• 88% of American adults own a cell phone.

• Americans generate 7 lbs. of garbage a day.

This last one is not off of Twitter, but I have to share.  So one day at work I ate an entire tub of cottage cheese at my desk (gross. I know.), but it WAS small curd and low fat…anyway, after eating the tub I began to feel really sick.  So I Googled “What happens when you eat too much cottage cheese?”  Here’s the answer I got: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_eat_too_much_cottage_cheese 

Holy crap...my stomach will explode?!  Please also check the “relevant answers” section...I love the one about how it will make you "overweight and DIE".  Who writes this stuff!  Well I guess they do let me "publish" this piece of junk on the internet... ;)