We all have one. Every single one of us. Mine happens to be pretty special.
Sometimes we forget. Forget that there is a tie that binds us all. When abroad I am fascinated by drying laundry. I take pictures of it slung over balconies, pinned to lines between homes, spread out on the hot dirty ground, and even thrown over bushes in parks. But that's not what I'm talking about (though it is true - rich or poor we all have laundry - dirty and clean).
What I am talking about I was reminded of a few weeks back when I found myself at a bar on a Sunday afternoon (surprise surprise) speaking candidly with two homeless men.
We all have mothers.
While staring wide-eyed and hungry for more stories about life on the streets of DC one of the men's mothers called (on a phone nicer than mine might I add) and we proceeded to speak to her on speaker phone. Wow. Sometimes I guess I forget. Even grown homeless men have mothers. Mothers who still ask about the kind of trouble they're getting into (probably literally in his case), and what they've been up to. Yes, we all have them, but many people are not as lucky to have such a good one as I do.
Today I received my first card in the mail (yes the actual physical mailbox kind) from my mother, well not my first card ever from my mom (god no - she was the one who never failed to send the holiday care packages in college, the one who paid more in shipping costs to send me tampons in Thailand than the 80 tampons were worth - so no. This is not a first in that sense). This is the first one from our new "project" aka Mother's Day gift 2012 (which I'm guessing won't actually be appreciated for years to come). The project is a series of cards we complete and mail to the other to complete the same questions - then ultimately they end up in a pre-made scrapbook of sorts.
Mom and I spend so many hours on email, the phone, and in person discussing god knows what, but I couldn't begin to tell you who my mom's mentor is, her childhood dreams, or even where she was born (seriously Mom I thought you were born in Boonville until I got this card and it said Racine)! We know so much about each other (well her more about me than me about her due to this blog and the fact that she raised me), but so little about certain important parts of her life before me (yeah I know can't be that important if I wasn't around...but still).
As my birthday approaches (according to mom it's my 30th - so let's just go with that), I'm still in awe that when she was my age she had an 8 year old - me! For starters I can't even fathom myself with a child (unless it's the kind that can eat when and whatever I choose, and loves to hang out all day under the bed unsupervised - wait that's Mason) - yeah no, I can't imagine taking care of another small human at my age - so yes I want to know how my mom did it. And did it well. Let's just say that I turned out pretty dang normal (not to toot my own horn, but I am comparing myself to these homeless men). So I am normal! My mom is awesome.
Like most moms, she did the standard "mom" stuff, like always putting herself last, that apparently comes with giving birth. Tenneva, Sophia and Elizabeth do a pretty good job of summing that bit of my mom up:
"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~Tenneva Jordan
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone
What these quotes don't say are the above standard things about my mom that I admire, for example how she:
I love you. And all that you are beyond just being a mother.
Sometimes we forget. Forget that there is a tie that binds us all. When abroad I am fascinated by drying laundry. I take pictures of it slung over balconies, pinned to lines between homes, spread out on the hot dirty ground, and even thrown over bushes in parks. But that's not what I'm talking about (though it is true - rich or poor we all have laundry - dirty and clean).
What I am talking about I was reminded of a few weeks back when I found myself at a bar on a Sunday afternoon (surprise surprise) speaking candidly with two homeless men.
We all have mothers.
While staring wide-eyed and hungry for more stories about life on the streets of DC one of the men's mothers called (on a phone nicer than mine might I add) and we proceeded to speak to her on speaker phone. Wow. Sometimes I guess I forget. Even grown homeless men have mothers. Mothers who still ask about the kind of trouble they're getting into (probably literally in his case), and what they've been up to. Yes, we all have them, but many people are not as lucky to have such a good one as I do.
Today I received my first card in the mail (yes the actual physical mailbox kind) from my mother, well not my first card ever from my mom (god no - she was the one who never failed to send the holiday care packages in college, the one who paid more in shipping costs to send me tampons in Thailand than the 80 tampons were worth - so no. This is not a first in that sense). This is the first one from our new "project" aka Mother's Day gift 2012 (which I'm guessing won't actually be appreciated for years to come). The project is a series of cards we complete and mail to the other to complete the same questions - then ultimately they end up in a pre-made scrapbook of sorts.
Mom and I spend so many hours on email, the phone, and in person discussing god knows what, but I couldn't begin to tell you who my mom's mentor is, her childhood dreams, or even where she was born (seriously Mom I thought you were born in Boonville until I got this card and it said Racine)! We know so much about each other (well her more about me than me about her due to this blog and the fact that she raised me), but so little about certain important parts of her life before me (yeah I know can't be that important if I wasn't around...but still).
As my birthday approaches (according to mom it's my 30th - so let's just go with that), I'm still in awe that when she was my age she had an 8 year old - me! For starters I can't even fathom myself with a child (unless it's the kind that can eat when and whatever I choose, and loves to hang out all day under the bed unsupervised - wait that's Mason) - yeah no, I can't imagine taking care of another small human at my age - so yes I want to know how my mom did it. And did it well. Let's just say that I turned out pretty dang normal (not to toot my own horn, but I am comparing myself to these homeless men). So I am normal! My mom is awesome.
Like most moms, she did the standard "mom" stuff, like always putting herself last, that apparently comes with giving birth. Tenneva, Sophia and Elizabeth do a pretty good job of summing that bit of my mom up:
"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~Tenneva Jordan
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone
What these quotes don't say are the above standard things about my mom that I admire, for example how she:
- Worked (and still works) very hard to make her dream happen;
- Asks and actually appreciates my advice;
- Is creative (more than she knows and realizes);
- Is excited for all my choices (good or bad - even if she's worried - she still is the ultimate Jenna fan);
- Tells me how it is (yes I know my hair looks terrible, but thanks for being so honest);
- Makes time for the little things in life, that mean millions to me (she recently redid a hamper for my apartment in an "Indian" theme - love!)
- Takes in my pets, belongings, car, etc. every time I decide it is time to pick and go;
- Has dealt with her own sickness and her parents' deaths with more strength than I thought was humanly possible;
- Is a leader and go-getter; but,
- Most importantly how she has helped shape who I am today - a strong, independent, open-minded, and compassionate human being who easily sees the beauty in all.
Thank you mom.
And thank you for NOT teaching me how to drive, or how to be on time, or even how to cook (too many childhood bread/fire memories) ;)
I look forward to many more cards and conversations about you and your life before and after me.
Here are a few more fitting quotes that I just couldn't let go to waste (and I know everyone will appreciate and relate because...Everyone Has One):
"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever." ~Unknown
"A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go." ~Unknown
"Mom, when thoughts of your are in our hearts, we are never far from home." ~Unknown
"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
I love you. And all that you are beyond just being a mother.
