Things I learn while traveling…sometimes the hard way.

Well hello Kota – we meet again.  I kinda want to take back all the nice things I said about you only weeks ago…but alas, I know it’s not your fault.  It’s mine. Completely mine.  It’s your world over here – I’m just trying to get by.  Your game. Your rules. And I’ll play by them.

Leaving here empty-handed last time did not make anyone happy. So I’m back.  And I’m not leaving until I have what I came for. This time I'm taking no chances that I will get my visa in 2 days (or at all) so I came by land. Wasn’t close. Wasn’t fun. But was what had to be done in order to be flexible, and/or move to the country until I have that stupid stamp.

Day 1:

5 am wake up. 5 hour drive with a semi-stranger (the tour desk owner whom I met that morning). Dropped at bus station. 4 hour ride with 14 more strangers (one of which was very large and took up far more than his fair share of the back bench seat next to me). Dropped at the border. Walked across (with literally only 2 other people). Once on the other side, spent far too long convincing the taxi cab drivers that I wasn’t making up a hotel name in Kota just because they’d never heard of it, nor knew where it was located.  45 minute taxi ride to the only skyscraper in Kota Bahru, and my hotel.

Day 1, Evening at hotel:

• You don’t have working WiFi.  Okay.
• Oh your pool is closed for renovations?  Hmm that’s the ONE reason I booked this place because I’d already seen all 4 of your city’s sights last time I was here. But, okay.
• There’s no toilet paper in my room. Okay. Thank god for Five & Below face wipes.
• Oh my toilet is broken. Okay. I’m using it. That’s now your problem.
• 150 extra Ringetts?  You want a deposit for the same amount as I’m paying per night so I don’t break anything.  Okay.

Day 2:

Arrive at “One Miracle Café” at opening time to see if their internet works. The name did not lie.  Sit. Refresh email. Over and Over and Over. Waiting for my HR director, who is in Thailand, to drive from the island to the mainland (2.5 hours with the first ferry leaving at 6 am) in order to get a paper from the labor department proving I’m out of the country.  This paper, he then needs to get to me, in order for me to hand in with my visa application.  Before noon.  And Malaysia is one hour ahead. Makes complete sense. Right.  Someone is proven to be out of the country, yet needs this document in order to return. TITS (This is Thailand, Shit).

So at about 10:45 I receive a text with a scan of the document and word that the same scan was emailed to the Consulate. And I’m off.  Arrive at the Consulate at 11:08.  Relief quickly turns to panic. Last week, “send by email, it’s okay”.  This week, “your document, not mine – you print, not me”. Literally telling me this as her hands rest on the Epson scanner/printer through the service window. WHAT?! Omg.  So you’re telling me I need to find a printer in under an hour. In Kota Bahru. Challenge accepted. Not happily, mind you. But I will be back. Maybe not today, but I’m not leaving this country without what I came for.  So with fury in my veins and determination in my step I sarcastically thanked them grabbed my things--I’m carrying my laptop, a USB drive, and 2 phones – I’ve got this. One way or another.

Walk 10 minutes down the road to a large hotel. Ask them to use one of the two computers sitting in the lobby that are clearly for guest use.  “Cannot. Not work.” Okay. 

Ask them for to print something for me. “Sure, it has to be on a USB drive.” Okay. Do you have WiFi? Lucky for me I have this giant laptop that has Gmail and a USB port. “Yes. Have WiFi.” Okay great! 

Not able to connect. Not able to load webpage. Keep showing them these prompts asking if I can use their computer to log on to my email. “No.” Precious time is wasted.  Please call me a taxi.  “Yes, go sit.” Uhhh you didn’t call anyone, why would I just go sit down in your lobby and hope that a taxi miraculously shows up when I’m clearly the only person in this hotel?! 

Out to the street, taxi hailed. “Internet Café please.” “Ok”.  We end up in a parking lot full of taxi cabs.  He motions for me to get out. “No”. A group of taxi drivers come over. They tell me the internet café is just “that way” motioning down away from the parking lot in no particular real direction.  So I say “okay, so he takes me there.” Fighting between the drivers ensues, more directions are given in Malay.  Great, obviously no one knows where there’s a public room that has computers in it.

20 minutes to go. We drive. We pull over. He gets out. This happens about 4 times. I sit. Steaming (literally and figuratively) while convincing myself that not making it by noon is not the end of the world, there’s always tomorrow.

Finally, we are on a street that looks somewhat familiar from last time I went to the internet café (thinking they actually meant café with WiFi)—"STOP!"  I see it.  Hand him far too much money. Jump out – sprint up the stairs to this dark, dank, room filled with a million schoolkids playing Grand Theft Auto – find the one open computer and ask if they can print. “Yes.”

Out of the same black Epson scanner/printer that was in the Consulate comes my document. 11:53.

Sprint outside, grab a taxi and arrive at 12:00 on the dot.  The two ladies behind the desk have zero customers and just stare my way but don’t come to the window for 3 minutes; I just know they are going to say I’m late. Just know it. They clearly were under their breaths debating how scared they were of me (and I must have won) because she comes over and says “passport please”. Phew.

While I’ve yet to receive my Visa, I go back at 10:30 am tomorrow to pick up my passport which will hopefully have a brand new page filled, I’m optimistic.  This is one step further than my last visit.

Traveling today makes you realize just how reliant we are on technology, when we should be reliant first and foremost on ourselves and our ability to plan for and navigate the less connected world.  I had every device necessary and at my disposable. In the end, I didn’t use a single one.  Didn’t use a single one the whole 250 mile trip.

Things I’ve been reminded of this trip…

• Always be prepared, this includes:
• Phone numbers
• My “fake” hotel confirmation printout had no phone number listed on it—even more reason for the taxi drivers to think this place did not exist…and even more minutes wasted convincing them to just drive to Kota Bahru and ask a local.
• Money
• Don’t expect an ATM or money exchange anywhere.
• Know the exchange rates.
• I talked a local shop owner into selling me some Ringetts just so I could pay for my taxi. And by knowing the rates I made sure I didn’t lose money. Well, not too much.

• Don’t expect anyone to know where anything is.  Even if it’s their job to know. And in their hometown.  Just don’t.
• It never fails, when asking where something is, far too often the response is: “I don’t know.” ATM? “I don’t know.” Internet Café? “I don’t know.” Thai Consulate? “I don’t know.”  But you’re a taxi driver!  And I have a map!  “I don’t know.”  Get used to it. Don’t get frustrated. And figure it out yourself.
• Maps, town names, landmarks, etc. – know some!  I checked all the large landmarks next to this “fake” hotel when I booked it, so at least I could halfway explain where to start looking for this place, “By the University Hospital…”

• And do not plan to rely on technology for any of the above.  Or anything else for that matter. Yes they have Google, but A) it costs a ton of money for them to use it on their phones, and when they do get something pulled up it’s so slow that it just stalls out. B) there are no WiFi cafes to offer what you’re so used to having at one finger's touch; all the world's information. C) Just be prepared and depend on your own big brain.  This tech-dependency we all have is making us weak when it comes to survival skills.

• Be flexible and patient.
• It’ll leave.  Eventually. It’ll come. Eventually. It’ll work out. Eventually.
• Spend that time waiting to come with your plan B.  Or at least your, “I guess that wouldn’t be the end of the world if…” plan.

• Don’t be afraid to offer an alternate solution when in a stalemate.
• “Let’s just drive to Kota. I’ll ask when we get near the hospital!” 

But more than anything, just smile and roll with the punches.  No need to block or defend them. They’ll still come in one form or another. Just take them and figure out how to get back on your feet.

Again, Kota thank you.  While here, I’ve managed to solve 2 “unsolvable” problems, I’ve made 2 new friends, I’ve also made 1 new enemy, and yet again I have been reminded that it’s not the destination but the journey.

Cuz Sometimes You Just Need A Kota

Click, pound, pound.  There’s not a sound I enjoy more when first stepping foot in a new country. Another country. Another passport stamp.

This week I set foot in my 36^th country.

Traveling does something funny to you, after every click, pound, pound you silently rejoice, then think—“that’s not good enough, I’ve got to see more.” So while 36 may sound somewhat impressive. It’s not.  There’s always someone doing more “time”, doing something “cooler”, going somewhere “untouched”. Whatever you’re currently doing, it’s never enough. It’s just how this weird world of travelers works.  Who can travel farther, longer, deeper.  I set out writing this with feelings of inadequacy, but after a day or two in what most would describe as the Topeka of a state/country—there’s no reason to go, no reason to stay, and nothing to do—I’ve had a change of heart. Neither I, nor Kota Bahru, are inadequate. It is here that I’ve rediscovered what traveling was originally--and still should be--about. The everyday life.  The everyday experience. Not some façade put up to impress foreigners, or make you “feel” like you’re experiencing someone else’s culture.

No, it’s not the jungles of Papua New Guinea or some remote village in Africa or some exotic untouched island. No. It’s boring old Malaysia in the overdone, over-touristed part of the world—Southeast Asia.  True, in the normal sense of the word, there’s nothing to “do” here, but there is a whole lot to see. 

Everyday people living.  Living in a way that isn’t familiar to me. That is interesting.  It’s also relaxing, there’s no mapping out everything I “must see”—figuring out how I’ll get from one sight to the next and fit it all into the three short days I’m here.  Instead, it’s relaxing to know there’s nothing I have to see.  I’m free to roam. To get lost. To have no destination. In fact, my highlights thus far have been the grocery store, lunch at Pizza Hut, contributing my passport photo to a taxi driver’s book, being the only guest in my hotel that doesn’t have a reception desk or lobby, and oh—being the only tourist in the entire city.

No I didn’t discover an untouched paradise—I discovered everyday life. No frills. No fake smiles. Just life.

While here I’ve experienced life as an outsider.  The stares of someone (gasp) walking.  And by most standards here, walking around half naked (I have pants and a tank top on). I’ve changed my attitude towards the Chinese (they have the only restaurants in town that serve beer), and I’ve met two of the most sincere, nicest people on the face of this earth (Norma and Omar).

Is it trekking through the jungle or biking the Pan-American Highway? No, of course not, but it’s an adventure all of its own. A concrete jungle where I’m navigating Arabic and Chinese. Navigating a city not built for tourists (i.e. there are no cafes with Wifi – when I asked I was directed to an Internet Café with a million school children playing Grand Theft Auto). Navigating a city without a map (not having a hotel reception, means no map, which means each night I Google the area and write down “big roads” names of “notable buildings” and then use those as boundaries and markers). But on the flipside it makes it more like traveling used to be. I rely on the kindness of strangers for restaurant suggestions and directions.  Real life TripAdvisors! And throughout these past couple of days, I’ve had more people ask if I need help, ask where I’m from, and generally just genuinely smile at me than I have experienced in a long while. Here, I’m not seen as an intruder, an annoyance, or an easy target for quick money. I’m seen as a person taking part in their everyday, somewhat mundane, daily lives. Not special. Just accepted.

Kota, you may not be on many lists of “places to see”, but you’re on my list forever. You’ve put the meaning and feeling back into travel for me.  Real people, doing real things. Nothing fancy. Just living.

And for that I’m smiling for you today.  Smiling for everyday life.

More about Kota Bahru:

Kota Bharu was established by Sultan Muhammad II of Kelantan in 1844 as Kelantan's capital. Pantai Sabak, about 10 km from Kota Bharu, was the initial landing point of the Japanese invasion forces on 8 December 1941 in their Malayan campaign, when they successfully engaged the British in jungle warfare and ultimately captured Singapore.

Kota Bharu's population is 70% Muslim with the remainder consisting mainly of Buddhists and Christians. Social activities that do not contradict Islamic norms are allowed. Government offices and many stores are closed on Fridays and Saturdays, but the vibrant markets remain open except for Islamic prayer times. The Kota Bharu Municipal Council, the local government authority, discourages the use of "indecent attire" by female employees in retail outlets and restaurants. Those who are caught for "dressing indecently" may be fined up to RM 500. The definition of "indecent dressing" includes "body hugging outfits which show off the body, blouses which show the navel, see through blouses, mini-skirts and tight pants."

The Kelantanese culture is highly influenced by Thai culture because of its geographical proximity to Thailand. Kota Bharu features a tropical monsoon climate bordering on a tropical rainforest climate. Kota Bharu does not have a true dry season although the city experiences noticeably heavier rainfall from August through January. 

It’s currently raining.  I’ve broken every indecent exposure and inappropriate social activity rule (except for the navel showing blouse), and for some reason this SE Asian country has more cars than motorbikes on the roads and a scarcity of 7-11’s.

Kota thanks for keeping it real. See you again soon (sooner than I’d hoped I think).

Happy Birthday My Goat! Love, Your Monkey.

60 years. 31,536,000 minutes. 21,900 sunsets. All measurements of time, but not of the heart.

Today, mom, I wish you the happiest of days, from my heart to yours.  

I needn’t go into all the ways in which your friends love you; you already know.  I needn’t go into all the ways in which your family loves you; you already know.  But most of all I needn’t go into all the ways in which your daughter loves you; you definitely already know I love you.

Therefore, I’ll let you know why you’re a goat!  We all know the Chinese are good at ping pong, math, and producing iPhones – but they hit the nail on the head with their zodiac signs.

Hailing from Southwest Asia and Eastern Europe, the goat’s characteristics include:

• Creativity, intelligence, dependability, and calmness. (Yup; you have your moments of brilliance; you’ll always be there, just late; and yes you’re definitely composed)

•  Nurturing, natural care-givers. (For sure. I’m living proof, as is dad and Drew. You were also always there for your mom and dad. And well almost everyone else I can think of that are important to you…)

•  Artistic, and enjoy expressing themselves in that way. (Everyday with your clothes and your shop)

•  Appreciate the finer things in life, but are not snobbish. (Dad and your credit card bill can attest to this)

•  Power or status at work is of very little importance. (Thank god, as you’re not going to ever achieve much power or status at MMGG)

And all those 60 year old “wood goats” out there, enjoy being helpful but this generosity is sometimes taken advantage of.  Therefore, this type of goat must spend more time on themselves. (TRUE! Couldn’t be any more true)

So happy birthday you old goat.  Like you said you’re still “young at heart”…just slightly older in a few other places. 

Do know that you’re in some good goat company, others in your flock include:  

•          Bill Gates
•          McDonald’s
•          Reba
•          Disneyland
•          Whoopi
•          Legos
•          Kevin Costner
•          Velcro
•          Bruce Willis
•          Fish Fingers
•          Steve Jobs
•          The Guinness Book of World Records
•          And of course, Karen Braun & Julie Lieungh!

Happy 60^th Birthday mom!  Enjoy the day, and every day after it!

Love,

Your Monkey

“No daughter and mother ever live apart, no matter what the distance between them.”

Still working for the man…

Many have been asking, what is it exactly that I’m doing? 

Well, contrary to popular belief, I’m not on a constant vacation.  Closer than before.  But not quite. 

Yes, I do live at the resort, which I will say has it’s benefits. No cooking, cleaning, or laundry to be done. The gym is a flight of stairs up and the beach bar a flight of stairs down. There’s a private beach, two swimming pools, and a spa.    

But living on-site does also have it’s downsides (very few and relatively speaking here), but I basically live on an island, on top of another island.  Trapped. Double-style. I now feel like I know what it’s like to live and work on a cruise ship.  Here, the entire staff lives in dorms just down the road and are essentially one big family; the management team lives on-site, so everyone always seems to be here.  No need for a phone, big brother (or a little Thai worker spy) always knows where to find me. Obviously the benefits outweigh any of this by far…but it is an interesting lifestyle change.   

Throughout the week I rarely leave the resort. My typical day consists of: waking up with the sun (and the roosters and the sounds of breakfast being set-up), going to the gym, eating breakfast at the restaurant overlooking the Andaman Sea, showering, heading down to the office (a 3-minute commute), and working until 5pm (exactly). And my evenings are generally spent reading or entertaining a special guest, watching the sunset with a drink, relaxing by the pool, dining, and then heading off to bed to do it all over again in the morning.

So, I’m still working for the man…he just happens to be a bit more easygoing.

I had to laugh when I Googled “working for the man”, and this was Urban Dictionary’s definition:

Performing a task, manual labor, or any type of assigned duty for a stupid, spineless, gutless, lazy, self-serving, worthless, anal retentive, unappreciative, disrespectful person, or organization, for money.

Yup. Sounds about like what I was used to.

In my opinion the office culture here is pretty much how it should be everywhere. Work the hours you’re supposed to work.  Take breaks, real breaks.  And smile and have a good time all while doing so. Performance-wise, meh, a little bit less stress and a little bit more fun never completely ruined any bottom lines.

Working for the man there v. here.
	USA	Thailand
Lunch	A lunch break?  Those are still a thing? You must mean the lunch I take every day from my desk as I answer emails, right?	The clock strikes noon, bam, off go the office air conditioners and lights. We all head to the lunchroom together (there’s a kitchen that makes lunch for everyone daily – I seem to have thrown them for a loop being vegetarian, but each day there is fish or meat they have a bowl of eggs ready and waiting for me).  The lights don’t go back on until 1:01 pm.  You take the whole hour, or you work in the dark, like me.
Meetings	“My Outlook calendar is up-to-date, find some time for us to meet...”  The utter inability to perform any task or project without first meeting has always been mind boggling to me.  Then, you must check-in on said project by again meeting.  And so on and so on.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Pretty soon you’re meeting to schedule your next meeting.	I haven’t seen one Outlook request in the past two weeks.  I also haven’t attended one single meeting.  And somehow this resort hasn’t collapsed?!
Emails	Have question.  Send email. In the past, on a normal day, I would see about 100+ emails going in and out of my inbox.	Have question. Ask in-person. Here, I now see about 4-5 emails per day.
Working 9-5	Every organization always says how great their work/life balance is “our hours are 9-5”. But what they are really saying is, “we expect you to work much longer hours if you hope to remain employed for your family.”	I actually have no clue what the starting time is here, was never mentioned as it wasn’t high on the priority list.  What I do know is that come 5 pm, half the staff is already out the door and the others are asking you to wrap it up.  The lights, A/C, and internet are all off by 5:15, at the latest.
Always “online”	Work never stops. With work emails on your phone, you’re always accessible.  If you don’t respond during “off-hours”, well then…you obviously don’t care about supporting your family. See above.	You get emails to your phone?!  Why don’t you just chat with your friends on Line or Facebook?  I don’t understand? Not once does it cross most of their minds to “do work” on their phone.

Ahhhh so here I am.  Working for the man, trying to gain awareness in the American market for “his” business.  But you know what, for once in my life I don’t mind trying to make him money.  It truly is a little family here and the teamwork it takes to seamlessly run a resort is not a small task. So all of our successes are actually ours.  And all of our failures, also ours.  It’s just a different feeling. Almost as if “he” doesn’t actually exist.  

It’s “our” resort.  It’s “our” home.  And with that, comes pride.

So I leave you with a bit of shameless promoting: Like us on Facebook, Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, or Find us on Pinterest!!

“Do what you love, love what you do.”

"I Smile For _____"

Writing again from the Land of Smiles I thought this would be an appropriate place to start.  I have a million reasons to smile, but today, ‘I smile for me.’  

I smile because I made a life change.  

I smile because I made a life change when things were actually going right in my life.  

I smile even harder because making this decision wasn’t easy, but I did it.  

All my life it’s been easy to run from my unhappiness.  In fact, it’s been the easiest and most exciting thing to do.  Just leave it.  Seek out a change of scenery. But what isn’t easy is to leave when you’re happy, and could possibly be happier.  Now that takes some real guts.

Five years ago, almost to the date, I ran to Thailand with $700, a TEFL certificate, and no real plan.  And I’m a planner.  Such a planner.  Which has always shocked me as to how I could have done that.  But recently I stumbled across a quote and every word just made total sense to me, “Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.”  Traveling makes me happy. Mystery solved.

I, of course, had no idea as I was fleeing the US five years ago that as a result I would end up back in DC where I’d be introduced to a great group of irreplaceable friends and a loving boyfriend.  I mean how could one even begin to plan for such great results?  You just can’t.

Today I have no idea as to what my recently planned actions will result in, but I am proud to not be running from something, but rather towards something.  And, all the while keeping in the back of my mind, that if my dreams don’t scare me, at least a little bit, I’m not dreaming big enough.  And who wants to have small dreams.  Dream big, and know you can always go home!

Welcome to Crown Lanta Resort & Spa, my same same, but different new Thai home.

What are you smiling for today?  #ISmileFor____