I'm not perfect, but I'm worth it

I’m not perfect. Not even close.  But guess what, perfect can be boring.

Perfect doesn't say ‘yes’, when I should say ‘no’.

Perfect doesn’t say ‘let’s go’, when I should say ‘let’s go home’.

Perfect doesn’t take the hard road, because the easy road is right there.

No, I’m not perfect – but I am definitely worth it.

I will always be there for you. No matter the hour.

I will always go the extra mile to make you feel special. No matter if that ends up being an extra 100 miles.

I will always tell you the truth. No matter how hard it might be to hear.

I will always be up for anything. No matter what it is, as long as it’s important to you.

I will always stand by your side. No matter how prickly that side might be at the time.

I will love you with everything I have. No matter what.

All I ask of you is that you accept me for me. Accept my faults. Embrace them even. And see what fun it can be. 

Because trust me, it’s worth it. 

Thank you for being a friend...

I'm truly blessed with the all the different, the strong, the new, and the ongoing friendships I have in my life.  

There are the old - where we can pick up right where we left off - whether that was 5 years ago or 15.

There are the constant - that no matter what state or country I'm in - we stay connected.

There are the new - that treat me as if we've known each other for decades.

And there are the unexpected. When in times of hurt or happiness - you appear.  Either through travels, or through old or lost connections - an unexpected bond forms.

Just plain and simply. Thank you for being a friend.

And we all know it's not always so simple...so:

Thank you for not nodding along with me.
Thank you for getting in my way.
Thank you for stabbing me in the front.
Thank you for knowing all about me, and still liking me.
Thank you for answering my texts/calls at 4 in the morning.
Thank you for walking in.
Thank you for being able to sit and do nothing alongside me.
Thank you for knowing just what I need without asking.
Thank you for being the finest balm.
Thank you for showing love in trouble and happiness alike.
Thank you for taking the bus with me.

Thank you for always believing in me, rooting for me, taking my side, and standing up for me. No matter what.

But most of all - Thank you for being my greatest possession as well as my best measure of worth.

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. 
~ Plutarch

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. 
 ~Arnold H. Glasow

True friends stab you in the front. 
~Oscar Wilde

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. 
~Elbert Hubbard

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. 
~Marlene Dietrich

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. 
~Walter Winchell 

The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple? 
~Eugene Kennedy

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. 
~E.W. Howe 

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love. 
~Jane Austen

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. 
~Euripides

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. 
~Oprah Winfrey

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. 
~Charles Darwin

Of all the things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship. 
~Epicurus

Muchas Gracias from Costa Rica, and wherever my life may take me!

Sense of Wonder

I read a great line in a book the other day that really made me stop to think: 

"In the West, many have lost their sense of wonder about things. If miracles happen, how can we possibly know about them? We are too busy to notice.  We've gained wonderful things such as wealth and efficiency, but I think we've lost a great deal of perception - sixth sense, insight, call it what you like.  When you're occupied every minute of the day, there's simply no time for this kind of awareness."

It's true. So true. Whether you realize it or not every minute of our days are completely and totally occupied. At work we are constantly toggling from Gmail, to Facebook, to our work email - holding many conversations simultaneously. Same in our personal life - many times we are out with friends, but also holding conversations, or following aquaintances' lives, via our phones.

Not only are we not living completely in the moment. But we are using up all our brain capacity to think about anything else.

Take a step back.  Breathe. Observe. Think.

Having been essentially disconnected socially and virtually over the past few weeks - this sense of wonder, or "thinking thing" has naturally come to happen.  I didn't ask it to.  I didn't search for it.  I didn't even realize I was even doing it until I read this paragraph in the book.  But I am.  

Over the last few weeks I have found myself wondering about such things as the life of crabs, how the tide works, why some sand is black in some places and not in others, how shells are formed...etc, etc.  I've been doing actual thinking. And observing.  And wondering.  And guess what - I like it.  

Now, what I don't like is that I know NONE of the answers!  When Liz was here I swear we Googled what made a mammal a mammal, the differences between alligators and crocodiles, how turtles have sex - we're talking kindergarten level stuff. I now know there is no way I could win the science portion, or actually any portion, of "are you smarter than a 5th grader!"

Then there's the other side. The overthinking.

I've definitely had many hours and a lot of time to think.  And overthink. What I will no longer overthink or even give one more second of thought to is: what others are doing that could be more fun than me (I'm living the life no matter what country or city I may be in), if I've made wrong decisions in life (can't change them now, why worry), my place in the world (I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be), how society would, or does, define me (WTF? Why do I even care - I don't know society!), and what am I going to do with my life (I'm doing it!  This. Is. Life.).

Lesson learned.  Make time to think. But not about what other's think of you or anything you do. Grab life and live it. And do it your way.  What comes will come.  And finally, don't ever lose that sense of wonder.

Leann Womack says it best: 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

Go dance. Go wonder.  Go live in the moment!

 

I'm busy.

Despite what you may, or may not, think...I'm busy.

Busy knowing there are far better things ahead, than behind.
Busy being free and living.
Busy celebrating and appreciating life. 
Busy enjoying nature.
Busy adapting to a slower pace of life, with a lot more love in every minute.
Busy enjoying those little things in life.
Busy daydreaming.
Busy indulging myself. 

Busy being myself.
Busy being happy.
Busy loving myself.
Busy being wonderful.   
Busy being positive. About everything.

But most of all, I've been busy getting stronger.

"Doesn't happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by,
And you realize you haven't cried.
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer.
I'm busy getting stronger." ~ Sara Evans

Hola from one of the "busiest" places on earth - 51 Palm Beach Estates, Apt. #1

Casa Chameleon

“Signs and messages are everywhere if only we start paying attention and stop being skeptical.”  Well I’m paying attention.  I am. I need a sign. And preferably a good one.   

And I just may have well gotten mine.

My home for this month is called: “Casa Chameleon”.  While I don’t shed my skin or disguise myself as a jungle branch. There is something to be said about the little critter’s name.

Change.  Adapting to your surroundings.

“Change is the only constant in life, might as well get used to it.”  This can’t ring any more true, the older and older I get.  Change is life. Life is Change.  Accept it. Or don’t. But it does and will happen.

And you know what, a happy life requires nothing much at all; you have all that you need to be happy. Right now.

So, realize that. And be flexible. Go with the flow.  Change isn’t always easy. We all know this.  And it’s also not always the most comfortable thing in the world. But there’s no harm in putting that chameleon disguise on in some instances when you feel like just blending in. And in some instances, taking a stance and fighting for what is yours and what you believe in.  But never doubt that change is happening. 

You can’t disguise yourself from it forever.

Hola from Casa Chameleon…most probably named for all the chameleons crawling around my room and not change...but I’ll take what I can get right now ;)

Living Without

Last month I was inspired by a blog post I saw, Zenhabits, where the author chose one thing each month to give up, or live without.  This one thing was obviously something that he really liked and ultimately did not want to give up. I too decided to do the same.

Let me just tell you – habits are hard to break.

For my first month, August, I decided to kick it off strong - I chose to live without bread. I tried. And I tried. And for the most part I did succeed, but I did have a few slip ups where I completely forgot that pita chips were bread. Or pizza was bread?!  Or just didn’t care, and I wanted bread so I ate it (more like binged on it).  But all in all I did pretty well, felt better, and as a result have been able to mostly cut bread out of my life this month as well.

For September, not having known I’d be in Costa Rica, I had chosen to live without laziness.  

When I chose this month I had imagined losing at least 5 pounds by getting up and running each morning. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work.  Walking The Mall over my lunch hour. Taking long evening walks with Mason and friends to catch up.  I imagined just being all-around more active (and skinnier) as the hot DC weather subsided and Fall set in.

Oy.  Cut to real and actual life. 

I’ve read more books in the last week than I have in the last month. In a hammock. On a bar stool. In my bed. On the beach. With a beer.

I’ve accomplished more work than I do in two weeks’ time.  On my computer. On my porch. With a beer.

I’ve written more than I have in the last year.  On a bar stool. On my porch. On the beach. With a beer.

You see the pattern that’s forming. And it’s only Day 9.  There’s no jogging. No stairs. No long walks (well unless you count the ones that I take to get more beer).  My current and immediate surroundings, which are also my work and my home, are so beautiful and sanctuary-like I have little desire to want more.

But I must!   

This month, so far, has been pure and utter physical laziness. While being mentally unlazy.  But you know what…I’m going to go easy on myself and count it, not as complete failure, but as I’m headed in the right direction!  Not only am I already living without most things on my list below (coffee, TV, purchasing new things, use of a car, and paper products). But, also because this month…I did pack all my belongings, load them in a U-Haul, unload them into a storage unit. Solo. In 100+ degrees.  And…I went surfing and am now unable to walk.  So for now (until my body heals) it will count.  But come soon - there will be forced unlaziness.   

On the other hand…I do know that from failure come lessons learned…so I’m not totally opposed to failing either ;)

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life.’ ~Wayne Dyer

If you’re interested what I’ll be living without for the next months – here’s the plan:

October: Living without Restaurants

November: Living without Excuses
December: Living without TV
January: Living without purchasing New Things (except food) 
February: Living without cheese/dairy (except low fat milk)
March: Living without paper towels, paper plates, plastic wrap, foil, or anything similarly disposable (except TP)
April: Living without Alcohol
May: Living without the use of a car
June: Living without Judgment
July: Living without Coffee

And below is a picture link update from the weekend – which involved beach exploration, a howling monkey gang, beautiful sunsets, and surfing. And beer.

http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=8be2e0ee391f7b8f&sid=0ActmrNi0atWLPRA

Not managing your time and making excuses are two bad habits.  Don’t put them both together by claiming you “don’t have the time”. ~Bo Bennet

Bumpy Roads

Dirt. Mud. Potholes. Rocks. Crevices. There's no way around them, you will hit a bump. Every once in a while.

We’ve all driven down one.  They aren’t fun.  But they are life.

My road for the last week has been just that.  Bumpier than bumpy.  It’s rainy season here so every pothole is filled with dirty water and every inch of road is filled with a pothole.

It doesn’t matter the vehicle – car, taxi, van, jeep, or bike. You’re bound to hit a bump or two. Such is life - we all hit a bump or two every now and again. 

The past few days my bike has seen more near misses and direct hits than it would have liked to.  I’ve had a chain fall off. I’ve had me fall off.  I’ve had pants covered in dirt and water. It’s just life.

For every bumpy road there’s a straight road, and for every direct hit on the bumpy road, there’s a near miss.

You can’t let the bumpy road get the best of you.  Aim for the misses. Or aim for the puddles. Either way – life is just that. A road. One that must be traveled. 

And sometimes the bumpier ones are more fun.

Hola from one of the bumpiest roads in the world - in Palm Beach Estates, Guanacaste, Costa Rica

"Stay Strong & Surf"

“Stay Strong and Surf” A solid piece of advice I received today from a friend. 

Which got me to thinking…what exactly is “strength” or “being strong”?   And, how do I do that…?

Strength.  Webster has many definitions, all of which seem to be physical in nature by having the words “resist” and “force” in them.  Which is true.  But there’s so much more to this saying…

No crying.

Or having a good cry. And picking yourself up after.

Doing what is right, when it’s not what is easiest.

Truly believing in yourself.

Being positive.

Saying no.

Finding the courage to continue on when things aren’t going your way.

Physically working to get through the day to financially provide for yourself and possibly others.

Never giving up.

The list goes on and on. There is a strength in all of us. And most likely it means something different for each of us, on any given day, or at any given time in our lives. But it's always there. Ready to fight when it's needed.

I think having and realizing this strength is important, but what you do to support and nurture that strength, maybe even more.

Which brings me to my question of “how do I do this…?”…well, I think I’ll go surf.

I know, I know I haven’t written in the last year, and trust me I’ve had quite some adventures – but when it comes down to it I think my greatest and most worthy adventures are those that take place solo (never alone). 

Hola from Playa Grande, Costa Rica!