TITS

This. Is. Thailand. Shit.

And that “shit” can go either way, like most cuss words, “Shit – yeah!” or “Shit…SHIT”.

Living in Thailand makes you realize just how many rules you are used to living with and following. Here, for the most part, nobody cares what you do or how you do it.

It’s freeing. And weird. And somehow seems to work.

Too often I catch my inner self whispering, “but what if we get stopped/caught…” or “why isn’t anyone saying something to us about what we’re doing…” And then you remember…TITS.

You want to drive on the wrong side of the road? Fine. Just do it with caution. You want to build a beach bonfire, or any fire? No permit needed. You want to pee in public? Why not? Everyone does it. You want to set up a shop on the side of the road? You go girl! You want to drink outside a convenient mart (aka loiter) until all hours of the night? Well duh, the beers are much cheaper and most of the bars are closed by now anyway. TITS!

Thailand is very good about just letting people live. Do what you want. Just don’t hurt anyone else.

I mean take a public bus and just see how many random objects and stops are allowed. One of our last rides had a huge air conditioning unit smashed in with us and an actual bus stop, unheard of. Or as the Thai’s would say “Unseen in Thailand”. You want off, just speak up and the driver will immediately pull over on the side of the highway and wait for you to awkwardly maneuver your way out of the crammed mini-van.

At work and hungry, but don’t want to just “eat at your desk”? Why not lay out a mat on the floor of the airport terminal in front of your shop and invite all the other shop owners to join you for lunch down there. Not “unseen” in Thailand.

Or, just don’t feel like opening your shop, restaurant, or guesthouse today? Or for 4 months. No worries. And why bother putting up a sign explaining how long you’ll be closed.  

What? The 3:30 “scheduled” bus isn’t running today? “Why?” “Don’t know.” TITS. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why they cancel. But they do. And they won’t bother telling you until you ask. Even if you’re holding a ticket. TITS.

Addresses are also basically “unseen” in this country. I’ve asked our favorite bar owner to give me his address so I can create a TripAdvisor listing, it’s now been 3 months and several reminders and he still doesn’t know what it could be. How the postal system operates, I’ll never know. Surely letters aren’t addressed as: “Go down the main road and it’s just past the third 7-11 on your left…”

There are a few actual rules but of course they are meant to be bent and definitely broken (or just not enforced). Last week there was an election (which weirdly no Thai could explain what it was about…which was apparently done on purpose); however, the night prior to the election the sale of any alcohol was prohibited. This rule goes back to when it was commonplace for politicians to buy the vote with free alcohol and a lot of inebriated voters.

Of course we were easily able to find beer: “You selling beer tonight?” “Of course, why not?” “The election…” “Ah, no problem!”

And often what’s even funnier is seeing that they continue to create new rules that will be broken and unenforced.  That same week it came out in the papers that playing Pokemon Go near any polling station was a fineable offense. As if anyone would ever call you out on this. TITS.

Around here you definitely get that feeling of cowboy country meets self-controlled chaos. Because basically that’s what it comes down to. All of your decisions are made not based on the fear of punishment, but on actually using some brain cells and deciding for yourself if what you’re about to do makes sense at that moment in time. Now, more often than not, most Thais will still do whatever they were intending to do, no matter if it makes sense or not. TITS.

A part of me congratulates the Thai people for just living and letting their people live. Because I do like a cold, cheap, beer while loitering.

The other part of me is untrusting of every individual on the road, but learning to again be patient, more laidback, and accepting that this is another culture. But not another world…TITS.