Hmmm. Well. Ummm. No, not really. Doesn't apply here!
I used to love this saying. So simple. So pure. So sweet. Now, soooo...not true (at least for me - I'd like to be the opposite please!) Maybe the person who said this underestimated their dog (or didn't live in a 400 sq ft box with it), or maybe my dog, Mason, is too smart to be duped into thinking that being fed = great human being.
People always say how their dog greets them at the door with an out of control wagging tail and the utmost praise. Yeah, well Mason does the wagging bit (no praise), and then looks past me for someone better.
People always say how their dog sees the good in everyone and places unearned faith in strangers. Nope. Not here. Mason hides from strangers on the street that try to pet him because he's "just soooo cute".
People also always say how dogs don't hold grudges. Well let me just tell you...if looks could kill.
Actually - come to think of it - he does sound pretty dang smart ;)
But back to the saying - try to be the person my dog thinks I am - what?! No way. My dog thinks I'm nuts. Which is somewhat understandable, as he only sees me in my "natural habitat". I mean, I absolutely try to only be this "person" in private, for obvious reasons.
Mason definitely thinks I am:
- a prison warden (only letting him in and out of his cell three to four times per day).
- a home wrecker (who in their right mind would drag someone away from a perfectly good home, with a yard, a lake, more than one room, friends, etc. to THIS place).
- a drill sargeant (and a liar) - yes you will "jog" with me down the street without being able to stop and smell the trees, and yes we will tell people we "ran" for a half hour, when really these five blocks winded the both of us.
- a terrible singer (eh. I am.)
- a garbage disposal (yeah, I realize that items of food that fall to the floor are in most households considered a dog "gimme" - but not here - all's fair in the five second rule!)
- a flake (oh hmmm....you don't have any dog food left? For the third day in a row? We can just share my vegetarian dinner...that you "love" so much).
- a weekend day drinker (hey - you can't tell time, and it IS five o'clock somewhere).
- a lazy bum (yes, I know I'm just sitting on the couch staring at a book, and your whole purpose in life is to go outside as often as possible, but guess what I'm immune to your dirty looks and huffs).
- a slob (yup. Those are all my clothes from the entire week slung over kitchen chairs, the couch, and the floor - deal with it).
- a cheapskate (well you shouldn't have destroyed the toy I bought for you YESTERDAY).
- a bore (yup, still sitting on the couch just staring at this book).
- a needy, and overly aggressive cuddler (beggars can't be choosers buddy).
- a pig (yes, I realize I ate an hour ago. I am aware. But no one but you and I will ever know about this - insert disgusting condiment here - i.e. entire jar of olives, spoonfuls of cream cheese, handfuls of shredded cheese...).
- a schizo (she's not even talking TO me...just talking...).
Yes, I'm not exactly the "ideal" person in your eyes. I get it. I do. And Mason - I promise to you that I'm not JUST these things...but they are a part of me (and guess what, I don't exactly love to pick up your poo, but I do. Out of love).
You're stuck buddy - think of me how you like, but all we've got is each other, and you will love me faults and all! And he does. Most of the time. And really - that's all I need.
Glad to have you back in my life Mason. We were clearly made for each other - big personalities and all!
I used to love this saying. So simple. So pure. So sweet. Now, soooo...not true (at least for me - I'd like to be the opposite please!) Maybe the person who said this underestimated their dog (or didn't live in a 400 sq ft box with it), or maybe my dog, Mason, is too smart to be duped into thinking that being fed = great human being.
People always say how their dog greets them at the door with an out of control wagging tail and the utmost praise. Yeah, well Mason does the wagging bit (no praise), and then looks past me for someone better.
People always say how their dog sees the good in everyone and places unearned faith in strangers. Nope. Not here. Mason hides from strangers on the street that try to pet him because he's "just soooo cute".
People also always say how dogs don't hold grudges. Well let me just tell you...if looks could kill.
Actually - come to think of it - he does sound pretty dang smart ;)
But back to the saying - try to be the person my dog thinks I am - what?! No way. My dog thinks I'm nuts. Which is somewhat understandable, as he only sees me in my "natural habitat". I mean, I absolutely try to only be this "person" in private, for obvious reasons.
Mason definitely thinks I am:
- a prison warden (only letting him in and out of his cell three to four times per day).
- a home wrecker (who in their right mind would drag someone away from a perfectly good home, with a yard, a lake, more than one room, friends, etc. to THIS place).
- a drill sargeant (and a liar) - yes you will "jog" with me down the street without being able to stop and smell the trees, and yes we will tell people we "ran" for a half hour, when really these five blocks winded the both of us.
- a terrible singer (eh. I am.)
- a garbage disposal (yeah, I realize that items of food that fall to the floor are in most households considered a dog "gimme" - but not here - all's fair in the five second rule!)
- a flake (oh hmmm....you don't have any dog food left? For the third day in a row? We can just share my vegetarian dinner...that you "love" so much).
- a weekend day drinker (hey - you can't tell time, and it IS five o'clock somewhere).
- a lazy bum (yes, I know I'm just sitting on the couch staring at a book, and your whole purpose in life is to go outside as often as possible, but guess what I'm immune to your dirty looks and huffs).
- a slob (yup. Those are all my clothes from the entire week slung over kitchen chairs, the couch, and the floor - deal with it).
- a cheapskate (well you shouldn't have destroyed the toy I bought for you YESTERDAY).
- a bore (yup, still sitting on the couch just staring at this book).
- a needy, and overly aggressive cuddler (beggars can't be choosers buddy).
- a pig (yes, I realize I ate an hour ago. I am aware. But no one but you and I will ever know about this - insert disgusting condiment here - i.e. entire jar of olives, spoonfuls of cream cheese, handfuls of shredded cheese...).
- a schizo (she's not even talking TO me...just talking...).
Yes, I'm not exactly the "ideal" person in your eyes. I get it. I do. And Mason - I promise to you that I'm not JUST these things...but they are a part of me (and guess what, I don't exactly love to pick up your poo, but I do. Out of love).
You're stuck buddy - think of me how you like, but all we've got is each other, and you will love me faults and all! And he does. Most of the time. And really - that's all I need.
Glad to have you back in my life Mason. We were clearly made for each other - big personalities and all!